Women and Communication: When She Says the Word “Fine”……..You’ve heard it before. That terrible four-letter word that tucks away so much anger, “fine”. She may say this word, but she doesn’t always mean it. What do women really mean when they say they’re “fine”? What should you do when she says it? Here is a little look into the women’s code for the word “fine”.
In short, your girlfriend is anything but fine at that moment. You know it too.Don’t act like you don’t. You wouldn’t have asked her that question if you didn’t know how she would feel about it? She’s not “fine”, because she thinks you should know what she’s feeling. Yeah, it’s ridiculous, but some women don’t like the idea that you don’t “know her well enough to know how she’s feeling”. She thinks you should “know” that by leaving the toilet seat up you would upset her. Of course she can’t say these things out loud because she would look like a crazy person. Instead, she usually just says she’s fine.
The word “fine” could also be used to plug the cork of an already about to burst damn of female rage. By saying that she’s “fine” she puts an end to the argument before she gets any more upset than she already is. It’s an avoidance tool. She’s going to take this argument and hang it on a shelf for a while. Then, (usually when she’s angry again) she’ll pick it back up and use it against you. I should stress that this isn’t the way every woman handles arguments. It’s just a choice some women make. Guys are guilty of doing the same thing. It just depends on the type of person you’re dating.
Sometimes, when a girl says the word “fine”…she means it. The only way you can determine whether or not she’s really fine is by asking her yourself. When you ask your girlfriend if she’s “fine”, you should always follow up with “are you sure”. Make her feel if she tells you what’s actually upsetting her you’ll be there to work it out. If she feels like she can freely express herself in a calm and understanding environment she’ll actually tell you what’s bothering her. You won’t have to play those stupid head games, and you can work past your problems.
Yes, this is going to mean more talking, but you can’t let your partner avoid a problem when it’s right there on the table. In a long-term relationship, there are going to be a lot of conflicts that come up. You can’t play the game of avoidance. If you want your relationship to last you should tackle each problem as it arises. Using the word “fine” to get out of an argument isn’t a good relationship philosophy. Arguments suck, I agree—but you need to have them in order to grow as a couple.
So when she uses the word “fine”, watch out! She may be trying to avoid the problem and use it on you later. The word “fine” should be a red flag. If she’s tossing this word around, gently ask her if she’s okay. She might not be, and you’ll have to work it out. Who knows! Maybe she’s fine after all. That’s the great mystery of woman communication.