Women and Prenups

Prenuptial agreement

Women and Prenups………You’re ready to take the big leap.  Congratulations!  You’ve found a woman you’re willing to spend the rest of your life with.  What a happy occasion!  Now, before you step on any glasses or jump over any brooms you need to add some practicality to your situation.  I hate to be the dark cloud looming over your wedding day, but 50% of marriages end in divorce.  You need to ask yourself; Where will I be financially if this union goes south?

            People may not even realize this aspect of marriage, but besides the whole love and commitment thing—there is also a legal union.  People get married so they can mold their lives together emotionally and financially.  Part of the strong argument for the legalization of gay marriage has to do with same sex couples having the same legal rights as heterosexual couples.  When you’re choosing to marry someone you’re also choosing to take on their financial burdens.  You’re agreeing to provide for each other.  When things work out, a married couple could have a long and fruitful marriage.   I sincerely hope this is the case for you.  Sometimes, however, things don’t work out and you need to legally protect yourself from the uncertain future of marriage.

   Some women are completely against the idea of a prenuptial agreement.  They see it as a sign that you’re certain the marriage will fail.  They are taking your attempt at being legally precautious as a personal attack on your relationship together.  When attempting to present a prenup to a woman, start the conversation off by expressing your love for her and your excitement for marriage.  Try to make her understand that the two of you are entering a legally bonding contract, and just like any contract you’re trying to cover all your bases.  Don’t just present to her an already written up prenuptial agreement.  This is a slap in the face.  Instead, have a conversation about it first.  Sit down together and establish what the both of you want from the marriage, and what personal property each of you would like to protect.  Make this a document that the two of you draft together.  That way, she won’t feel threatened.

  The both of you should figure out what this prenup will entail.  Will it just cover possessions each of you own now (like a house)?  In the instance that a divorce does happen, will your partner be compensated?  Does the compensation depend on the number of children you have?  Will there be financial penalties for infidelity?  Sometimes prenups go so far as to demand allowances and request sex a certain number of times a week.  That’s a little extreme—but if you want to legally force your partner do the nasty 3 times a week for the rest of her life…that’s on you dude.  God help the woman that signs that prenup.

It’s great that you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.  Be sure to enter this commitment knowing what exactly you’re getting into.  Some women may not love the idea, but it’s necessary.  Protect the assets you’ve achieved for yourself as a single person, and construct a document that will initiate a fair split between the two of you if things don’t work out.