Women and Communication: How to Tell Her No……There comes a time in every relationship where the word “no” has to come up. Sometimes, it’s really hard to say. You have to be able to say it in order to set up your boundaries. If you said “yes” to everything your girlfriend asks of you—you’re setting yourself up for failure. Here’s how you gently tell her “no” when she asks something of you that you don’t feel comfortable with.
You’re probably wondering what the big deal is when it comes to saying the word “no” to your partner. You need to say “no” every once in awhile, because if you’re always agreeing to what your woman asks you’ll never be able to say “no”. There are some things that you do for the sake of your relationship that you don’t necessarily like. Being able to differentiate between the necessary and menial requests is the first step to saying the word “no”. When your girlfriend asks you do to something, and you don’t necessarily want to do it there are ways to negotiate your reaction.
Say your girlfriend wants you to escort her to a party that you don’t really want to go to. Simply ask her how important it is to her if you go. This will give her the opportunity to a) think about the question and b) honestly tell you how important it is to her. If it’s really important to her that you go, then this isn’t the time to tell her no. Just suck it up and go. If she says it’s not that important that you go, then honestly tell her that it’s not your scene and you really don’t feel like going. Don’t, however, forbid her to go. In fact, encourage her to go to the party without you. Just because you don’t want to go to a party doesn’t mean she has to change her plans. The two of you are your own people. Use this opportunity to have a night separate from each other with your friends. If she gets upset by you not wanting to go to the party nicely tell her your reasons for not wanting to go. Be warned! This might open up a dialog regarding her friends.
There are certain things that you shouldn’t say “no” to. Family functions, weddings, funerals, and other important live events are non negotiable. Unless you have previous engagements, prepare to suck it up and attend these events. Basically, you should attend anything that is extremely important to her. This is one of those emotional things women want in a relationship. The more you get to know her, the more you’ll know what’s important to her and what isn’t.
If your girlfriend asks you to buy something for her, and you don’t feel comfortable spending that much money—tell her no. If she’s disgusted by your lack of a deep pocket she can stick her hand into, then you don’t want to be with that person anyway. If she wants you to buy something for the house, and you don’t feel like you really need it, then tell her your reasoning. Basically, stand up for yourself when it comes to purchases and material requests. You can’t let your woman demand various materialistic things if you don’t feel comfortable providing them. It’s okay to tell her “no”!
Think about it, if you said “yes” to every single thing your girlfriend asked of you—you wouldn’t have a say in the relationship. If you say “yes” to everything, one day your girlfriend is going to ask you to do something that you know you CANNOT do. Telling her “no” would be a shock to her system, because up until now you’ve just been telling her “yes”. So stand up for yourself and say “no” every once in awhile. If you give her calm and honest reasoning behind your “no”s then she’ll accept your answer.