The many elements of competition vs. Obsession and Jealousy

The Difference Between Competition and Obsession and Jealousy

Beginning from early childhood, we’ve all been programmed into entering the game of competing; whether it be in school, the home, relationships, and last but not least competing in the workforce for the almighty dollar! Competition is a healthy emotion, providing it is not escalated to the extreme.


It may be perpetuated by your parents; thereby, comparing you to another sibling. Why didn’t you work hard enough to make the track team? Your sister gets straight A’s and your report card is a huge disappointment! The result may be a good healthy kick in the butt but often may lead to destructive and rebellious behavior. There are multiple reasons that may propel us to reach our goals that are realistic; however, not necessarily a goal we wish to pursue. Many of us succumb to pressure not wanting to disappoint or simply wanting to please the mentor which in the long run creates resentment.


Extreme examples regarding cheerleading nightmares are documented. If you’ve ever watched Lifetime movies, you’ve seen everything from sabotage to murder in the frat house. Yikes!

Often times, it is the mother who pushes her daughter; hence, her own goal never accomplished. If this resonates as familiar, have you ever taken the time to analyze a situation where perhaps it’s not about you? Often, it relates to the mother who pushes her daughter to reach the goals which she herself was unable to achieve and transfers this onto her mini-me.

An example of fierce jealousy occurred during my first modeling booking for a catalog shoot where we were required to do our own hair and makeup. For the second half of the shoot, they requested that I pin my hair up and I didn’t have any bobby pins on hand. The stylist suggested that one of the other girls (a veteran in the industry), lend me a few from her kit. After the shoot was over, I was shocked when she yanked them out of my hair along with several strands, literally cutting into my scalp in the process. She then snarled at me to next time “bring your own damn bobby pins!” Really? I reached into my purse and handed her a few bills and suggested she buy an extra package to have on hand the next time a new kid on the block might require her help. It was terribly disappointing to me why this woman couldn’t have reflected upon the time that she was new to the industry rather than letting her insecurities and petty jealousy become a factor. One should be prepared to seek another profession when choosing a short-lived one.

The point of my writing this article is to be aware to keep a healthy perspective in any given situation and not be overtaken by being brainwashed or allowing jealousy to sabotage your goals.


My suggestion to you the reader is to set your goal to “COMPETE AGAINST YOURSELF.” It’s not important what others are doing and a great waste of energy to focus on what you can’t control. If you work hard at your own pace and feel gratified, then it’s a win, win situation and everyone will survive along the way!

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