The Jerk’s Guide to Not Getting Laid

Woman turning her man down for sex

The Jerk’s Guide to Not Getting Laid……..Woe to the husband who assumes that sex is a right rather than a privilege. It may come as news to some men that they cannot expect to get laid just because they promised to love you forever. “Love” is a relative term, and real love has a lot more to do with how you act than how you feel. And if you act like a jerk, your penis may in fact be the first to suffer the consequences.


If your wife stops being interested in sex with you, she may not tell you why. She probably believes that you should already know the reason. Indeed, if you are doing anything on the list below, you are probably too stupid to understand her reasons anyway.


So, for the men out there that are well and truly clueless, here are the top five things you should do if you want your wife to cut you off.


You don’t follow through on your commitments. In order for a woman to be attracted to you, she has to respect and trust you. If you make promises that you don’t keep, she can do neither. Lie consistently, and you may be buying a one-way ticket to celibacy.

You are judgmental about other women’s bodies. Do you really expect any woman to get hot and bothered about you when you make comments about women in the movies or her friends, for instance? Saying things like, “She has really sloppy tits” or “She’s kind of a fatty” show a woman that you are in fact a pig. If you perceive other women’s bodies in this way, she knows you are thinking about her in kind. If you say things like this, you don’t deserve to get laid.

You never learn your lessons. Women get tired of dealing with men who make the same mistakes over and over again. You may have gotten married at an age when she thought you would grow out of your childish habits. Now that she sees that that’s unlikely, it makes her feel like she is sleeping with a teenager. Grow up, or get used to jerking off in front of the computer.

You can’t control your temper. If you lose your cool on a regular basis–even if it’s only once per week–your woman starts to lose respect for you. And why not? There’s nothing respectable–or sexy–about a man who throws a tantrum, regardless of the reason. If she’s the object of your anger, it’s a hundred times worse, and she may never recover the desire for you that she once may have had.

You don’t complement her. Letting a woman know that she is valued, attractive, and intelligent is a necessary ingredient in getting her turned on. If she feels like you are distracted in her company or that have lost some of your attraction to her, don’t expect her to be interested in your dick.