Sex at Your Place! What to Have on Hand for the Big Night

Guy with wine bottle and flowers

Sex at Your Place! What to Have on Hand for the Big Night……..There’s a lady, and she is coming over, and you’re pretty sure you’re going to be knocking boots. You’re hosting her at your house, so set the stage in a way that ensures both of you have the best time possible. Here’s what you might need:


So, condoms are pretty much the worst but you have to wear one because if you don’t you could catch an STI or get your lady friend pregnant and you don’t want any of these things to happen. Condoms are one of those purchases where it behooves you to know the market and what’s out there. For example, if you have a penis the size of a hoagie, you are not going to have success with the condoms that are made for normal sized penises. Conversely, if you have a smaller penis, don’t buy Magnums or Extra Large or that sort of thing: it’s going to fall right off you, and it’s not going to fool anyone. If you can get your hands on a standard sized condom somewhere they hand them out for free, you can probably ascertain from that whether you need something bigger or smaller. I haven’t found that condoms with ribs or swirly patterns or extra nubbins or whatever really make sex any better, but what does make it slightly less annoying to use a condom is the extra-thin or extra-sensitive variety. Also, consider that your lady might have a latex allergy and have some alternatives on hand. Condom preference is largely a matter of experimentation, but you want to aim for one that’s the right size for your penis and as thin as possible so that you can still feel warmth through it.


You’re going to want this. It comes in handy when you’ve done it once or twice and want to keep going but your sex parts are already sort of chafed and raw. It also comes in handy if your penis is a lot bigger than your partner’s vagina, or if she is nervous about penetration and unconsciously clenches up. Want to try anal sex? Definitely do not try it without your pal, lube. There are many varieties of lube sold at both sex shops and places like Target. What you want is the plainest silicone-based kind you can find; I like Astroglide. Don’t buy anything flavored, promising a warming effect, or in any other way boasting of weird properties sexual lubricant should not have. Trust me, you just want plain old lube.


A silent room is no good whatsoever if you foresee any amount of erotic fumbling between you and your partner as you get your bearings together. No need to overthink it, though—something smooth, without a lot of jarring changes in tone or tempo is the best. Also consider playing something with no words or fuzzy vocals that don’t intrude on the overall effect. The important thing here is that once I’m over, you don’t have to spend a lot of time fumbling around with your iTunes for us to have a soundtrack. A small amount of foresight could go a long way in this department.


After a long, intense session in the sack, I always find myself wildly hungry. If I’m being entertained at your place, you get many, many bonus points if there is something delicious in your refrigerator that can either be quickly cooked or eaten cold. I’m definitely not talking about strawberries and champagne, either—I’m going to be hungry. Neither does this need to be a gourmet feast. I recall eating and loving a shared pot of instant couscous made by my college boyfriend after making love, and another casual partner made my night when he came back with a plate full of Trader Joe’s dumplings that had taken a turn in the microwave. My current boyfriend and I often raid the fridge for our dinner leftovers after sex. My point is that it’ll either be too late or we’ll be too tired after our roll in the hay to go out and get food. If you’re not prepared to order an emergency pizza, please have something on hand.