Seriously Dude

Man talking to woman at bar

Seriously Dude, stop sending that girl at the end of the bar a drink.  You’ve already supplied her with enough alcohol.

She hasn’t gotten up off of her shapely ass to come to say hello to you.  Dude.  Dude!  She’s so not interested.  I know your mother used to tell you that persistence is key, but there comes a time when every man has to step back and say “Ok, she’s not interested.”  Unfortunately, some guys just don’t know when to call it a game.  They end up either killing their chances or are forever labeled a creeper.  You don’t want to be a creeper, do you?


I will admit the way women go about rejecting their men isn’t …the nicest.

Sometimes we’re bitchy.  Sometimes we just magically disappear.  It’s a cruel fact in this terrible game called love.  Let’s start with approaching a woman at a bar.  You make eye contact and strike up a conversation.  Make sure you pay attention to where her eyes are.  If she’s looking around the room like she’s searching for her friends or a more suitable mate… Sorry bud, she’s not interested.  If she’s looking down at the floor maybe she’s a little shy.  She could also just be rude.  If it feels like you’re carrying the conversation and she’s only giving you one-word answers, she’s not interested.  If she throws her drink in your face, she’s not interested. The list goes on and on.


If the two of you hit it off and exchange numbers/twitter handles/e-mails.

You’re one step closer to grabbing your girl! Now you have the ability to flirt with her via any social media method you choose.  Oh! She posted a really awesome photo on Instagram–let’s leave a flirty comment! Did she “like’ your comment? Did she comment back?  No? Hmmm. Let’s try again.  Send her a message and tell her how nice it was meeting her the other night.  Still no answer? Sorry, she’s probably not interested.  I mean, she could be interested, but you need to pump the brakes on the number of times you reach out to her.  If you send her a Facebook message and she doesn’t reply– do not send another one.  If she never acknowledges any of your tweets, stop replying to everything she’s posting.  The more you attempt to interact with her online, the creepier you get.


Say you take a girl out on a date and the entire night is magical.

Dinner went well, and she laughed at your jokes.  In your mind, you had already picked out the curtains for your future living room.  You want to set up that second date, so you go to call her a few days later.  Unfortunately, you’re not getting any texts or calls from this girl.  She seems to have forgotten how to use a phone. Sorry, she’s not interested.  I know it’s a total bitch move, but it happens.  Women are complicated creatures.  Chin up kiddo, for all the women that aren’t interested in you I’m sure you’re one step closer to the one girl who will be totally interested in you.