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Women and Communication | The L Word

Things Women Want | Contributor | Mandi Nowitz

Author:
Mandi Nowitz

You have too many reasons to be happy about the woman you’re dating.  She’s funny, kind, and cute.  Man, things are great—and you’re starting to feel a certain way.  You think that you might actually love this girl.  Great!  Now that you’ve come to terms with how you feel, let’s discuss how you should tell her how you feel.

The L word is a big deal, especially coming from a guy.  When a girl begins to date a guy she really likes, the L word is floating around her lips constantly.  We dare not say it though!  Usually, girls like to wait and see if the guy their with will say it first.  Why is this?  Well, we’re afraid that if you hear that we love you it might not feel right, and you’ll reject us for moving fast.  Sure, there are plenty of girls who are comfortable with saying “I love you” first, and more power to them, but it’s extra nice though when the guy is the first one to say it.

So, what are the dos and don’t of saying “I love you”.  Well, first thing’s first.  You have to ACTUALLY know whether or not you love this girl.  You can’t just go around blurting, “I love you” to any old person.  No.  Saying those three words is a big deal in a relationship, and once you say them there is no turning back.  That’s why it’s important to think about saying “I love you” before you actually say it.  Do you really love this girl?  Do you know what love means?  These are emotional things women want.  You shouldn’t be saying the L word if you’re only feeling greatly infatuated with someone.  Yes, there is a difference.  Love means putting someone else before yourself, and if you’re not ready to do that then you shouldn’t tell this girl that you have such strong feelings for her.  So do some soul searching, and hopefully you’ll realize that your feelings for her are true, and that you’re ready to take that next big step in your relationship.

When to say it is another story.  This is an exciting and happy time in your relationship, so you should save this moment.  Make it extra special!  Don’t say “I love you” while she’s giving you a foot rub or making your favorite meal.  In fact, don’t use the casual expression of “I love you” at all unless the moment is right.  The worst thing a couple does when it comes to saying “I love you” is wearing it out by associating the phrase with menial things.  You should only say “I love you” when it counts.  That way, it’ll mean more every time.  Try saying it to her while the two of you are alone on a walk.  Say it to her when she confides in you.  Say it to her during your most intimate moment together.  The words I love you are so powerful, and you should use it to enhance your most romantic and vulnerable moments.

So, when it comes to saying “I love you” to a woman, make sure you know the time is right.  Be aware that by saying these words your relationship will shift dramatically, but in a good way.  You’ll be able to have someone in your life that is closer to you than any of your friends.  It’s really a great thing when two people exchange these three simple words in such a beautiful and meaningful way.  As John Lennon once said, “All you need is love.”

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