05 May The Importance of Regular Sex in Your Relationship
Relationships are about intimacy. Emotional intimacy is, of course, very important. However, many people place so much emphasis on this type of bond that the importance of physical intimacy is nearly forgotten. I’ve learned through personal experience that regular sex is vital in relationships, keeping couples happy, healthy, and close to each other on multiple levels. Here are a few helpful hints to follow.
Regardless of gender, age, or the length of the relationship, everyone has regular sexual needs. Couples should acknowledge and embrace these needs, and delight in fulfilling them for each other. It’s no secret that relationships go through a “honeymoon period” – but when the honeymoon ends, it doesn’t mean the excitement has to. If your husband or boyfriend can’t keep his hands off you, great! You should want to be wanted, and he needs to know that you want him, too. And remember, guys, this concept works both ways – don’t assume that just because we’re women, we don’t have healthy sexual appetites. Both partners need to remain attentive.
Pleasing each other is a bonding experience for couples, and can forge a strong and lasting feeling of connection. The more often you are sexually intimate, the better you’ll get to know each others’ bodies; you’ll learn each others’ physical rhythms, how every part of them feels, and what drives them crazy. Treat every time like it’s as special as it should be. Look your partner in the eyes, and really get in touch with what they’re feeling. Sex that is regular and fulfilling fosters feelings of love and safety in your relationship, and creates an intimacy that is emotional and mental as well as physical.
Regular sex has individual benefits, too. It boosts your self-esteem, relieves stress, and prevents depression – and if you’re doing it right, sex is also a great workout! It has been linked to disease prevention, and will keep you looking and feeling younger. When you and your partner feel calmer and happier, you’ll be healthier in the relationship, too.
While having sex regularly is important, it should never be looked upon as a chore. If at the end of the night, you’re thinking, “okay, time to brush my teeth, wash my face, bang my boyfriend, and be asleep by ten,” you’re in trouble. Sex should be something that happens because you both really want it. Don’t let either partner relegate it to just another step in your bedtime routine – follow your impulses when possible, and keep things interesting by trying new positions, new places in the house, or new sex toys.
Of course, there are always going to be times when one of you isn’t “in the mood”, and you shouldn’t force sex for the sake of frequency. Your intimate moments should be special. Keeping an open mind, however, goes a long way toward keeping up a healthy routine, especially when schedules get busy. If you’re on the fence about having sex on a given night, give your partner a chance to convince you through kissing or foreplay. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you end up feeling like.
Both partners should make an effort each day to be present in the moment and attentive to the other’s needs. Have sex regularly, but because you want to, not because you have to. And, perhaps most importantly, have fun! Sex should be an activity that is as enjoyable for both of you as it is meaningful. As long as this is the case, your relationship will stay happy and healthy for years to come.
Written by Mandi Nowitz