The Banana Hammock and Men

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The Banana Hammock and Men - There are certain things women want, and certain thing’s women may not want; one of them being a man in a Speedo bathing suit.

Every woman has the right to be attracted to any man of her choosing. That being said, would what a man wears to the beach really determine his attractive factor? Let’s see what a real-life woman had to say.

I spent some time with a good friend – let’s call her Jenna.

When I asked my friend if when she was a teen or in college, were men in Speedos attractive to her, she simply replied with a firm “NO!”

“Care to elaborate?” I asked. “I just think it takes away from the attractiveness of their body; draws your attention south. And as a teen, that wasn’t as nice to look at as a hot six pack; especially if those wearing them weren’t in shape!” she simply replied. She later added, “They reminded me of my dad’s underwear, so overall; a Speedo was a definite turn-off!”

Let’s dig deeper, I told myself. I asked Jenna what she thought of a Speedo-sporting man these days. “Now? Hmm. Speedos are only OK is you have a swimmer’s body; you need the “v,” a six pack, and trim thighs.”

Throughout the conversation, I couldn’t help but be transported back in time to when I was forced to wear a banana hammock in high school; OK, it was for the swim team I was on, but still. Picture this, a mid-pubescent teen boy with an average body. The year was about 1997, and I had naively invited my then-girlfriend to a town swim meet. Innocent enough, right? Wrong!

Heck, all I wanted to do was show off my swim skills to my lady, not embarrass myself. OK, so she meets me at the town pool, and I am just about to get on the blocks for my 50-meter freestyle race. Down my trunks came, and out popped my pasty thighs and casketed junk. I was so embarrassed, that it must have shown in the family jewels; my man area shrunk to no end, and my girlfriend pointed it out in public. The frightened look on her face was so expressive, that I jumped into the pool before the gun went off, and postponed the race. A week later, my girlfriend dumped me. Yeah…

So, back to reality and on with the interview on men, junk, and the banana hammock…

“What’s the most attractive man on the beach,” I asked. “I think swim trunks that aren’t TOO outrageously printed are most attractive on a man,” she answered honestly. “…and they need to be worn properly, too … NO sagging!” she added.

Jokingly, I asked, “What do you ultimately think of a man who wears a Speedo? What kind of man is that?” She said, “Either someone who doesn’t care at all what others think, a confident man, or a man who perhaps grew-up where the banana hammock was the ‘norm’.”

Her famous last words were the best; she said, “In general, Speedos and banana hammocks alike are a ‘no-no,’ especially if there are families around. But, I’ll take a man in a Speedo at a strip club any day! Haha!”

The young woman I had a chat with was not favorable toward the Speedo – aka “banana hammock.” To each their own, I suppose!

Men, what do you think of other men in Speedos? Do women want a man in a banana hammock or a plain old bathing suit? I’d like to hear your thoughts.

About the Author

Stevie Nextel

Donna Karan